051: Tech Tools for Co-parents: How TalkingParents App Helps Communication & Much More

In this episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista begins a new series exploring technology tools that help separated and divorced parents co-parent more effectively. She welcomes Heather Ruiz from TalkingParents, a platform designed to simplify communication, improve organization, and reduce conflict between co-parents.

Heather shares how TalkingParents was created by a family law attorney who had firsthand experience with the struggles of co-parenting. The platform has evolved into a comprehensive solution that includes secure messaging, shared calendars, expense tracking, recorded calls, an info library for important documents, and resources for parents navigating high-conflict situations.

Krista and Heather discuss the challenges parents face with traditional communication methods,  disorganized text messages, missing receipts, or misunderstandings, and how TalkingParents provides clarity, accountability, and security. Heather also explains how its features reduce litigation costs by documenting every interaction in a way that courts readily accept.

For families, attorneys, and mental health professionals, this episode offers a close look at how tech tools  TalkingParents can keep the focus where it belongs—on the children.

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Why using a co-parenting app reduces conflict and builds accountability
  • How TalkingParents helps streamline expenses, calendars, and document storage
  • Security measures that ensure records remain accurate and admissible in court
  • Options for both free and paid plans to meet families’ needs
  • Extra features  recorded calls, transcripts, and educational resources
  • How the app helps establish healthy co-parenting habits early in the process

Resources from this Episode

talkingparents.com

www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com

All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 

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Tech Tools for Co-parents: How TalkingParents App Helps Communication & Much More Podcast Transcript

Heather Ruiz  00:00

TalkingParents was founded by a family law attorney who is also a co-parent himself, and  you said, a lot of our leadership team is either in a step-parent or a co-parent role. So this really is a passion project for us, because we can take our own circumstances and experiences and really apply this to how we develop the product and the enhancements that we continue to do and things along those lines. And very much  your firm, we are focused on helping parents co-parent and become the best co-parents and parents that they can, because at the end of the day, it’s all about the kids, and that is the main thing that we’re trying to get co-parents to really focus on so de-escalating that conflict and really trying to limit any communication to the child and not to what may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship, or whatever that may be.

 

Intro/Outro  00:56

Welcome to the Children First Family Law podcast. Our host, Krista Nash, is an attorney, mediator, a parenting coordinator, and child advocate with a heart to facilitate conversations about how to help children flourish amidst the broken area of family law. As a child advocate in demand for her expertise throughout Colorado and as a speaker on these issues at a national level, Krista is passionate about facilitating and creatively finding solutions to approach family law matters in a way that truly focuses on the best interests of kids. Please remember this podcast is provided to you for information purposes only. No one on this podcast is representing you or giving you legal advice. As always, please enjoy this episode and be sure to like, subscribe and share the podcast with others you think would benefit from this content.

 

Krista Nash  01:45

Hi everyone. Welcome back to the podcast where we keep the focus where it belongs, on kids. I’m your host, Krista Nash, and today we’re starting a new series I’m really excited about, called tech tools for co-parents. In this series, we’ll be exploring practical applications and technology platforms and tools designed to make parenting across two households smoother, clearer and more child centered to kick things off. Today, I’m joined by Heather Ruiz from TalkingParents, a communication and coordination platform built specifically for separated or divorced parents. If you’ve ever struggled with miscommunication, keeping records straight, or simply trying to have calmer, clearer exchanges with your co-parent, TalkingParents may be a real game changer. Even if you’ve heard of TalkingParents before, you’ll want to listen to this episode about a wide variety of ways that the application allows co-parents to do way more than just send messages to each other. TalkingParents even offers free resources you can use without even being a paying user, co-parenting expert sessions, high conflict workshops, small groups to help with communications and many other tools. It’s also essential for attorneys and mental health professionals to listen in today, because there’s a lot more to TalkingParents than maybe any of us have known in the past, certainly more than I knew before I did this interview. This episode, and the series as a whole, is all about helping parents stay connected, stay organized, and, most importantly, stay focused on raising resilient, well supported children with great co-parents. 

 

Heather Ruiz  03:31

Hey Krista, thank you so much for having me.

 

Krista Nash  03:34

So today is our first of a few episodes. They’re probably not going to be right in a row. They might be, but it depends on my planning and how I get my act together, but there is something within the co-parenting world that can really help people. And TalkingParents is one of the companies that helps us, and Heather works for TalkingParents. It is one of several applications that parents can use to improve their communication and make co-parenting more effective. You can do things, share expenses and receipts and track things and share calendars. There’s a lot of functionality within these apps that can really help people communicate better. So that’s what we are embarking upon in listening to people from the companies talk about how to do this, why to choose one or the other? And so this is inherently a little salesy, and that’s okay, because I want people to hear directly from the companies, and Heather is our first one. So, Heather, start us off because you’re the first. Give us a little bit of just sort of general, not specific to TalkingParents, but just generally. Why are these communication platforms necessary and what are the benefits for parents to use them? 

 

Heather Ruiz  04:45

Sure, absolutely. So, co-parenting communication apps have been around for a really long time. I think the difference is that they’ve just evolved over what is inclusive in communication. So  you said, when people first think about these, they think of messaging, text messaging, as well as sharing a calendar,  you said, expenses, a lot of them have expanded to be able to do recorded phone and video calls within the apps as well, and then having various spaces that can be used privately or in a shared circumstance, when it comes to where you can store all of your important documentation. So really, what the apps are doing is providing an all in one place for you to compartmentalize everything that has to do with your co-parenting, so that you’re not having to jump in and out of your bank account and jump in and out of your email and your phone logs and the long list of ways that people can communicate these days. It really keeps everything in one place, so that you can, number one, have kind of that mindset that you’re going into co-parenting mode, if you will, when you go in there to interact with an ex-spouse or a child’s parent, and that way it’s not kind of bleeding into every aspect of your life, and by keeping it all in one place as well, it helps with that documentation. So if you ever do have to go back and reference something, or you do have to go to court and you have to bring any kind of record keeping or documentation to a course system, it’s all right there, and you’re not having to dig through a bunch of different platforms. So number one, it saves you a lot of headache of having to keep track of all of that, as well as time and money going through and having to look at everything. And what’s really great about a lot of these systems is that they do also provide a record, so that anytime you do need to make that reference, you can go in and get that record, and you and your co-parent are walking in with the same exact account of what has happened within that system. So there’s no he said, she said, a lot of them have view timestamps and other detailed recordings of the communications that have happened. So you can’t say, oh, I didn’t see that, or oh, I didn’t hear that, or, I wasn’t aware of that, because it’s there. And you know that that person saw what it was, and it’s increasingly more important now too, because obviously, with new features that are coming out, especially the iPhone, where you can edit and delete text now after you’ve sent them. So that’s an easy way to kind of mess with that communication and potentially be manipulative if somebody is trying to be a bad actor. With shared calendars, you can go in and edit things with absolutely no history of showing what it used to be prior to you changing things along those lines. So the value is that everything is recorded and documented, and it’s very difficult for people to get around and manipulate situations.

 

Krista Nash  07:44

Yeah. I mean, what I’ve seen  as a family law attorney and child advocate is a couple of things. Maybe parents who’ve been through divorce, or the breakup of their family unit for a long time already are going to go. Yeah, I understand why I would need that, or why it might benefit me, and why it might make me have fewer headaches. I think people who maybe are new to newer and just contemplating divorce, they’re , why would we need that? I’d say in most cases, there’s a rare parent that can communicate, just  verbally say, hello. I mean, that’s great if you can, because more power to you. I wish they everybody would go out for coffee and talk about their kids and get along, right? I mean, that’d be wonderful, right? But for many people we end up with, I’ll just list a few just off the top of my head. I’m gonna list a few things I hear all the time. I’m getting triggered. Every time I get a text from this person, it’s interrupting every piece of my life because I see the ping, or I see this come in, I’m getting too many messages, or two verb verbose. Or  volumes and volumes, it feels  harassment, almost, right? Or just , control, you get a lot of people who feel  there’s just kind of this power dynamic going on. You also have, on the other side, you have clients who will say to you, I don’t know where those receipts went, I’m not sure if somebody’s refusing to pay for something, or they’re disagreeing on what they made a decision on. Well, we had a discussion at the car exchange, and I don’t know, nobody wrote it down, so I don’t know. I mean, he’s saying I agreed. I didn’t agree. I don’t even think we had this conversation. And so there’s just a lot of, , natural high conflict disputes that come up, and irritation with the other person, and just sort of a lack of authenticity, too. I guess I’d say that’s the third thing, AI terrifies most of us in this world. Now that you can fake things,  you’re saying, you could delete texts, you could, you know, so even if you’re getting along, well, it still seems  there’s some reasons that these applications could really be helpful just to be proactively careful and use it more as a positive tool. A lot of times these apps are used and they’re ordered by judges, because people are already screwing this up, right? And so they’re , you people are being bad. I’m going to make you be on this app, right? But I think if we shift it more to say, this will really help you. It’s a positive tool. I don’t know if that’s how you all are marketing, but I hope people will think about it that way, because it really can prevent a lot of fights. I think we should go through each piece of what TalkingParents does, but generally, I will just say it takes a lot of air out of fights, right? A lot of fuel out of the fire. It also, I will tell you, when you are trying to text with your co-parent and you are trying to capture all those texts, it costs you a fortune if you’re using a lawyer. These people send me these screenshots, right? There’s a rule of completion in the law that says that it’s only authentic if it’s a complete document. You can’t just pull one text out and say, here’s one piece of it. You’re supposed to have the entirety of it. So one part I’ve appreciated with these apps is that the parents of the kids for whom I’m advocating don’t have to do this messy screenshotting that ends up  having, you know, you take a photo of it. And then I think there are some tools now that’ll do it, but you have to go pay for them to extract your texts or whatever. Maybe you know more about that than I do, but I just know most people don’t want to go buy that. So we end up with parents literally overlapping. You know how you take screenshots and you make sure that you’re overlapping the last one. So each one is about half a page because they keep overlapping. And then they’ll send you  50 of these. None of them are labeled. They’re all disorganized. And then if you’re using an attorney and their staff, you’re , how much money are we spending, how much time are we spending figuring this out, and then it’s messy for the judge, because the judge is , what is happening, and so it’s just very confusing. So I think, for all these reasons, having boundaries in your own personal life, having authenticity, and automatic tracking of communication,  you said, there’s real  time stamps. You can see when something was viewed, and then, it provides confirmation to avoid fighting. And then if you need it, you can go to court. So those are the big things. I think also, there’s joint schedules and things like that, that instead of using a Google Doc for a spreadsheet of expenses and a calendar for where you’re going to be and your email and your text and,  you said, your bank statements and all those things, they can all be in one. So that’s my spiel, just from the attorney side, that I really think these things can be super, super helpful. And they’re really  a go to you know that we’re , are you using an app? You need to use an app. I will note, just since you are also the first company advocate here, I’ll just note that the big ones I’m aware of are TalkingParents, which is where Heather works. Our Family Wizard is another one, and we will have them on as well. Heather mentioned as we were talking about an app, Close, which is not heavily used. It’s used by some parents, but I think it has fewer benefits to it or tools in it. Civil Communicator is another platform that I often see. So those aren’t all of them. I’m sure there are others, but those are the big ones. I think TalkingParents is the industry leader in Colorado, just experientially, because it’s really the one that most judges will just say, oh, we have to use TalkingParents. We have to use TalkingParents. It’s just the one that usually comes out first. And some of I was sharing with Heather, and you can address this. I think some of the bias that we hear in court is  that there’s almost  a step up,  TalkingParents is the first level. And then if you really can’t get along, we’re going to go to Our Family Wizard. And then if you’re really, really toxic with each other, we’re going to go to Civil Communicator, which has more of the, I think Our Family Wizard and Civil Communicator have more of the filtering of communications,  tone meters,  you’re a jerk, we’re not going to send that for you. And they sent a message to the other parent, , we blocked one for you because it didn’t meet our tone meter. And some of those might sound good, but they can be really overly sensitive. So sometimes it’s , hey, I got a cat for the kid. I wanted to tell you you can’t talk about cats. You can only talk about the kids. So it can be overly sensitive too, which can cause other problems. All right, so that was a lot for me, but that’s just kind of my spiel on what the basics are about these applications. So tell us about TalkingParents. I love too that you shared with me that you are a 15 year co-parent yourself. I love that. And so I think Heather can share too, sort of how she thinks it could mean she can’t hack it in her own life. It’s not what she ends up using, but she certainly, and a lot of the executives working at TalkingParents have this perspective, so they’re coming at it from a shared experience of, how can we help parents be better? So take it away with what the TalkingParents features are, what you think parents need to know?

 

Heather Ruiz  14:37

Yeah, absolutely. So TalkingParents was founded by a family law attorney who is also a co-parent himself, and  you said, a lot of our leadership team is either in a step-parent or a co-parent role. So this really is a passion project for us, because we can take our own circumstances and experiences and really apply this to how we develop the product and the enhancements that we continue to do and things along those lines. And very much  your firm, we are focused on helping parents co-parent and become the best co-parents and parents that they can, because at the end of the day, it’s all about the kids, and that is the main thing that we’re trying to get co-parents to really focus on. So, de-escalating that conflict and really trying to limit any communication to the child and not to what may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship, or whatever that may be. So along with your standard messaging and shared calendar, as well as calling, video and phone calling, we offer other tools like our info library, our vault file storage and our personal journal that allow co-parents to share information with each other without having to actually communicate. So if say, your children’s parent is the holder of the medical insurance policy that they’re on, and it’s renewal time, and all the policy information changes, every year that has to be a conversation about, okay, what’s the new policy update? Can you send me pictures of the cards and those types of things, whereas with the info library, the parent can just go in and update that information and keep it updated within the info library cards, and you don’t even have to have a conversation about it. You can set a recurring event annually on December 1 when you know their policy renews, or whenever that might be. That event pings and then reminds them, hey, I need to go in and update the info library card with the insurance information, and they can just go in there and do that. 

 

Krista Nash  16:43

I love this example, because I’m literally dealing with this right now in a case where one parent won’t give the other the insurance card because apparently one of the parents lost it or got stolen or something at one point, allegedly. And so it’s , you can’t be trusted with this actual card. I’m not giving it to you. And it’s , okay, can we just get the health insurance information? Let’s tone this down. So I love that you just, we didn’t even prep that. That’s gonna be my new solution. Let’s sign up for TalkingParents. That’s a great example, and by the way, the thing you also just mentioned, makes me think about how many parents just say, can you just leave me alone? I just want to move on with my life. I don’t want to be all embroiled every day and every week in the management of the business of running this child’s life. So things like what you’re talking about, really can simplify all of that.

 

Heather Ruiz  17:40

Absolutely. Yeah, and you can create a card with approved babysitter information for both parents to pull from, your child’s school schedule, school supply lists, or whatever it may be. So some of these are things that don’t have to be a conversation, they’re just information pieces that both parents need to have access to. It’s a great place to be able to store those and so it’s a quick reference to go in and look at that information and not even have to interact with the other parent about it. And the same thing with expenses. If your custody agreement says that you have to split school expenses, 50/50, if I go and say, okay, I’m gonna take little Johnny shopping for his school supply list. I’ll take care of everything. I don’t have to then come back and send a text message with the itemized receipt and have that conversation of, this is what you owe me, and all of that. I can simply log into the accountable payments feature that we have and submit a payment request. Here’s the information about the expenses that I had for this. This is the request. And then again, I don’t have to have that communication. I can just send the request, and then the parent can either accept or decline the request, send the money, or if they decline it, they do have to give a reason why they’re declining it. So a lot of that back and forth can happen within the tools themselves, so that you’re not having to interact and potentially have heated conversations or escalate things if they don’t need to be and any of that that happens, sending an info library card, or sending payment across, or anything along those lines, it’s all documented, so if someone doesn’t fulfill the payment request that they’re supposed to, it’s a very easy ability for you to go in and just send a PDF record of that particular request and that it wasn’t met within a certain amount of time and you didn’t get reimbursed for it to your lawyer or whomever you’re speaking with, and they’ve got the proof right there. They don’t have to go digging for it, and then they can either get in contact with your co-parent’s lawyer or however they need to facilitate that as well. So it does help cut down on that constant contact  you were talking about, so people can focus on what needs to be done and not constantly having to have conversations with people that they may not care too much for.

 

Krista Nash  19:58

Yeah. So okay, a couple of questions about how this actually works. So because some of these things are great, I don’t think most people are aware of all these things. I’m aware of pieces of it, but not all the details of what you guys have. So let’s say you don’t have a 50/50 division of extraordinary expenses. It’s 70/30, or whatever it is, right? Does your system split it up for them?

 

Heather Ruiz  20:34

Not currently. That is something that we are working on where expense tracking is concerned. So yes, I’m really glad you actually brought that up. But yes, that is something that is in our product roadmap that we are actually working on right now, is being able to just kind of put in the type of expense that it is, and then you can adjust what that tracking looks like. So if it is 70/30 for school expenses, then I know when I do a school expense request, it’ll automatically do a 70/30 split, and kind of show that for you. 

 

Krista Nash  21:09

The the other weird thing in some states,  in Colorado, we have, I think this might be going away, actually, as the statutes are changing, but just for kicks, I can also mention that in some states, when you’re the recipient of the child support, you have to pay the first,  our current laws. You pay the first two $50 to the recipient of any medical expenses, child per child. But after the $250 then it’s divided, and it’s usually, then it’s by the proportions on the worksheet, so and it’s not usually 50/50, right? It’s usually 60/40. Usually when we’re bouncing, it’s almost always 60/40, under our statute. So that would be another thing to be super helpful. It’s , you know, to click and again, don’t do it just for Colorado, because I’m pretty sure it’s changing. But just to get rid of that. But I know, those are the kinds of things that people fight about, right? , well, you didn’t pay the $250 and that wasn’t supposed to be known as $250 I mean, you’d be amazed at how much, well, you wouldn’t, but listeners might be amazed at how much people fight about the stupidest, smallest things, and they they get so embroiled, sometimes in the war against their co-parent that it doesn’t even matter if it’s , over the price of a pizza. They want to get their lawyers involved and spend $10,000 because just on principle, they can’t even deal with the fact that they had to pay for the school supplies or whatever, right? So, you know, we want to avoid that, obviously. So I love that your stuff does that. I really like  these ideas about the shared library card, and the school supply list. Another good idea you could do is, I don’t know if you have this, but it’s giving me all sorts of ideas you could do,  those, , sign up, genius kind of things. Here’s the school supply list. Each of us can go in and hit the bubbles of what we are going to get, because a lot of parents are like, I want to get this, or I want to get that. Or for sports games, maybe it’s that they both want to go, or which soccer game am I going to and which one are you going to? I don’t know. You could just go in and choose which things you want. That could be because a lot of times you get both parents wanting to do the school supply shopping, because it’s kind of fun and it sets the kid up for school or whatever. So those are just some thoughts. But the thing about everything being documented is that courts recognize, at least with TalkingParents. I think this is a differentiator, and maybe you can confirm that, that it’s a differentiator compared to some other apps that the courts already understand this is legit. It’s kind of like SoberLink for alcohol testing. It already has this sort of proven kind of industry standard,  legitimacy, that courts are , yeah, there is validity to this because of who it’s coming from and the standards that they use. And so we will admit it as evidence, as opposed to, , ah, do we know if this was impacted by AI or this word document you created, or all this wonky evidence you’re trying to put together and maybe delete and fake and alter and whatever. So what is it that you all have done that makes that reliable. 

 

Heather Ruiz  23:55

Absolutely. So I can say that is one thing that makes us very unique to a lot of I would venture to say most of the other co-parenting services is the links that we take to ensure that all of our documentation is not handled manually. Obviously, there’s a lot of error that can happen when you’re copying and pasting and moving things over. We’ve also put in place several security tools and features and things around the records as well, because it is very easy to alter PDF documents. It’s also easy to alter printed documents. So we have gone the extra step, and honestly over the last year or so, we’ve had a couple of judges reach out to us and thank us for the iron, tight security that our records have because they have actually caught co-parents trying to modify these records and bring them into court. So one of the things that we do is that every record, whether it’s a printed record or a PDF record, gets a 16 digit authentication code when it is generated. So anytime that record is brought into court, whether it’s that day when it’s generated, or three months later, we they know that this record looks  it might have been tampered with, and they can reach out to TalkingParents and say, hey, I have this authentication code and we’re questioning this page on it, can you please directly send us this page of this document, and then we can send them exactly what that page is supposed to look . If there’s any question about that, what we’ve also implemented for all of our PDF records is a digital signature so if that PDF is tampered with at all the digital signature will appear invalid. So that will say that somebody went in and tried to alter the PDF in some way, shape, or form. Another step that we’ve taken for our printed records is that there’s a watermark on the printed records that we ship out, and so if someone tries to photocopy a page of that printed record, that watermark will come up and it will say, not original copy on it. So you know that way people aren’t trying to photocopy a page and then slide it into a 400 page printed record that might be there. 

 

Krista Nash  26:16

You can tell your founder is a family law attorney. The cat and mouse game that goes on in family law disputes, you kind of have to have lived it to believe it and to see how insane everyone really gets. I’m gonna just, I mean, everything you’re saying, I’ve seen. I’ve seen these fakes, all these, all these deep fakes, it gets crazy. Some parents, now, this isn’t all parents. Lots of parents get along, but even for those parents who get along fine, I still think there’s kind of a bias that if you get along, you don’t need this. But you know, you’re convincing me, with all these extra things that it would be really easy. I can’t tell you the number of times, and I know this will be again, no news to you, but I will have  people call me and we’ll do a consultation on a post decree case, and then  I’m having all these problems about expenses, and they’ll say, I want you to be our parenting coordinator/decision maker. The first thing we want you to figure out is who owes who what? And they’ve been at this for 10 years, and nobody’s paying anybody what they’re supposed to be paying. And the first thing I ask them to do is to go show me the records. I need them to create a spreadsheet or something that says, this was the expense, this is what it was for, this is the date, this is how much I paid, this is the division, and this is when I sent it to that person. Most parenting plans say it’s void if you don’t send it with an X amount of time, you can’t just save it for 20 years and send it later. Most of them say within 30 days, or quarterly, or whatever, and then the other person has to pay it. But a lot of times, people don’t follow up with that. Well, I’m not sure if you paid that one or if you paid this one. So you can see how messy it gets. You’re like, well, I don’t know. That receipt is here somewhere. So learning from the get go, not to do it with these 50 different tools and to just do it through here would make just so much easier. It would save everybody so much time and money. So people that go, I don’t pay for the app. It’s too expensive, which I also want to talk about. But we’ve already talked about 10 different ways this would save you time, money, aggravation, whatever. So I mean the expenses of going back and trying to put this stuff together later is maddening to people.

 

Heather Ruiz  28:18

It really, is, yeah, well, and that’s, you know, it’s a good point to bring up, is that starting with a co-parenting tool at the very beginning of the separation, divorce, or agreement for custody just puts you in that habit, because as much as you might have an amicable relationship with your co-parent at the time of separation, things change. People get re-married and maybe don’t see the new step-parent being introduced into the situation. Or socio-economic problems happen where one co-parent loses their job, or something begins to happen in their life that isn’t ideal for the child, and so you feel as though you need to go back to court and adjust custody. Things change. People’s lives change every day, and we don’t have control over how that happens. And so if you’re not utilizing it at the very beginning and establishing good habits right from the jump, then later on, when you’re going, man, we really need to use this and then trying to get it your custody agreement adjusted, and forcing the other co-parent to utilize it, and now they’re coming in and they’re angry about having to use it because they’ve been forced. You’re really eliminating all of those issues. So just starting it from the beginning is a great thing to do, and just establish that habit and the expectation. And the great thing about TalkingParents is that we have a completely free version that anybody can have access to. You don’t have to apply for a scholarship or a fee waiver or anything like that. Anybody can sign up today, match with their co-parent and start using the app for free, and it’s got the basic tool access to it such as messaging, calendaring, personal journal, and library card availability, so you’ve got the basic features there. So if you are in an amicable and an easy going relationship, it’s really easy to get started just with the basics. And now say your circumstances do change, and maybe now your co-parent has to have monitored visits with your child. So then you decide to upgrade to one of our paid subscription tiers so that you have access to video and phone calling, which all of our video and all of our phone calls are recorded and transcribed so people are utilizing the recorded video and phone calling instead of having to go to a facility for that monitored or recorded visitation with the parent.

 

Krista Nash  30:44

Just to be clear, this is not usually used for parents to have a conversation, is it? I guess it could be.

 

Heather Ruiz  30:53

So most of the time, what we’re hearing from our users is that most of the phone calls parent to parent may use it for phone calls, to have, you know, more serious conversations, or if it’s getting too long of a conversation, messaging back and forth, one might say, hey, can we hop on a quick call? And so the great thing is if you’re having that conversation and messages and you decide you want to have a call, you can click and make a call straight from the message. So then that trail from that message thread to that phone call, and then the transcription and the recording of it are all connected. 

 

Krista Nash  31:31

So I have a case where they’re fighting about where the kids go to school. The mom is saying that she wants to send the kid to this preschool. And dad’s like, whoa, no, I don’t want to do that. And they’re messaging back and forth. And then they’re like, let’s just get on a call later. They get on the call, right then they get on the call, and they have this argument, or maybe they don’t, maybe they get along, whatever. And then if we have to go to court over this, I can get the entire TalkingParents record on this issue, which will include first the messages back and forth and then the transcription of the call? That’s actually, really, really great. Because, yeah, again, I just had a long discussion with an attorney yesterday, and she says the mom talked to him about preschool. I’m like, no, he says she didn’t. He says she talked over the exchange of the car,  and she can’t just enroll him in preschool. And it’s like, well, I think they talked about, I mean, it’s just, we probably spent $1,000 yesterday on attorneys fees talking about this, right? I mean, by arguing about what happened, because it’s just a he said, she said at this point. That’s just a breath of fresh air to be able to just say, can you just send me the version of this so I can see exactly what actually happened. And it’s also way better way for you. For good lawyers who aren’t trying to weaponize and litigate all the time to treat your clients better. That other attorney could say, if it’s true, maybe my client’s not telling me the truth, but if it’s true, then that mother approached it that way, then the attorney can say, no, you cannot do that. That’s not okay,  you’re gonna get destroyed in court. Let’s settle. So if you think how much you can stay out of court with this, I mean, just the cost savings would be tremendous. I love that call feature. I hadn’t really thought about TalkingParents that way. That’s great. But I think what you were talking about before, mostly was we have a lot of monitored visitation, which is what you call it. We have a lot of places called supervised visitation centers, and ever since COIVD, a lot of our supervised facility places, which were never all that great in the first place, they’re kind of old and sterile, and, you know, not where you want to be seeing your kid. Those have become harder to come by. People aren’t using them as much. So I think they can be expensive. You have to drive there, and you have to pay for the human to be there, monitoring. They have cleanliness standards. They have to clean it all the time. They have, there’s just a lot of logistics about it that is taken away by this. So you can do video calls and those are recorded too. When it records, it transcribes it, but can you get the video of it too? 

 

Heather Ruiz  33:54

Absolutely, yes. And then both parents have the option to turn on and off, the ability to receive phone and video calls. So in times where maybe you have a parent that maybe harasses and calls over and over and over again, you’re able to kind of turn that off to kind of combat that. Also, I know in my custody agreement, we have certain time windows, unless it’s an emergency, that we’re allowed to contact each other. And so if it’s outside of that time window, I can go in and turn that call acceptance off so that I’m not getting notifications for it. And we do document all of that on the record as well, that calls were turned off at this time. The other thing that we make sure as well is that every time that call feature is turned on, you are consenting to receive recorded phone and video calls. And then anytime the co-parent is receiving a call when they answer the phone or before they dial in for the video call, it does say by continuing this phone call, you are consenting. 

 

Krista Nash  34:59

It’s  a jail call. Yes, well, especially with the various rules between states, yeah, smart that you all have that. That’s really good. So absolutely, I think that would also avoid a whole other set of problems, because I hear constantly, well, she’s supposed to call Susie between five and six, and she never calls, right? And the other parent might say, yes, I do. You just never answer, and you ignore my calls, and you decline my calls, and you cut my calls off. And you know the time and money to go in and try to figure that out is just mind numbingly crazy. I’m like, please don’t call me or ask me to do that. Can we just fix this? I don’t want to see everybody’s phone records or subpoena everybody’s phone records of whether a call came through and if it was one minute or two minutes or not at all. If it can be done through that, I think that’s great. Now, another question that raises for me is, when you’re using the app, it relies on Wi Fi, right? So if you’re off Wi Fi, then are you still able to have all the functionality?

 

Heather Ruiz  35:59

Yeah. I mean, you can do it through Wi Fi. You can do it through your cellular data. You can access it on your phone through the actual app. You can access it on your phone through a mobile browser. You can access it from your desktop computer as well. You can log in through our website and log in that way too. And all of those different ways of logging in, all the information is the exact same. It carries over. It syncs, so there’s no issues with that. So yeah, it can be used on a desktop that has Wi Fi, or is plugged into an ethernet cable or whatever it may be, but also on cellular data as well. So if you don’t have a Wi Fi service or anything like that, you can use your cellular data. It works just like any other app would. 

 

Krista Nash  36:42

Are you able, for example, with SoberLink, if they’re offline, I realize it’s a completely different thing, but if they’re offline and somebody’s breathalyzing the device, or if there’s some glitch going on, or you’re somewhere camping or something, it’ll keep the data. It allows you to use the thing to keep the data, and when you reconnect, it’ll upload it. So maybe that’s an in the weeds kind of question, but if somebody is not accessible to those sorts of things, could they answer something or show that a phone call was made, or something like that? I don’t know, is there any, would there be any use of that?

 

Heather Ruiz  37:16

Yeah, everything is documented. So if I try to make a phone call and the phone call is dropped because I have bad service. Yeah, in the record it will report that call was dropped, and those types of things. Or if I try to send a message and it’s not able to be sent due to connectivity issues, or whatever it may be, you know, all those details are recorded by the service itself. So it’s very easy to go in if there’s something in question. You can see right there on the record exactly what was going on. Same thing with the payments. If I send a payment request and my co-parent pays me, but then I don’t receive it, the record will show if it’s due to insufficient funds or anything along those lines as well. So it’s all very well documented, so in those instances, you can’t make excuses or maybe be dishonest about certain situations. But it also is a protection for those extenuating circumstances. I left cash under your mat. 

 

Krista Nash  38:15

Yeah, exactly. Now, how do you make the payment between them work? Are you making money on that, or are you literally just connecting to their banks? How does the payment stuff work?

 

Heather Ruiz  38:29

Yeah, so each co-parent will go through an identification process. Obviously, we want to make sure that everybody is who they are. Again, security is our top priority. Because of the user data that we have, we’re SOC two compliant. We have redundant databases across the country. You know, we do all of the things that you would think of any big tech company that needed to have safe and secure information for that. So we have all of that in place. So you go through an identity verification process, you put your bank account information in, and then we utilize third party banking applications and services that are used by the biggest companies in the world, Dwolla and Plaid, and that’s how people’s identities are verified. And then that’s how we facilitate the transfer of funds between the two bank accounts for that as well. 

 

Krista Nash  39:19

Can you send child support that way too?

 

Heather Ruiz  39:22

Yes, we’ve got and because you can set up recurring payments as well. So if you have to make a child support payment every month on this date, then you can set up a recurring payment and it just sends it so you never have to think about it again. You can also do one time payments for school reimbursement expenses and things along those lines too. So it really helps with efficiency and not always having to be thinking about certain things, but again, cuts down on that back and forth communication that maybe you just don’t need to have. And then everything that happens in those banking transfers is all documented in one place, so you’re not having to dig through. Bank account records that are all mixed in with your daily expenses and trying to call out what needed to go where?

 

Krista Nash  40:08

Yeah, it just gets really messy. I want to make sure I understand. What is the thing you were talking about, this library piece?

 

Heather Ruiz  40:15

The info library. Yeah, so basically, they’re information cards, and you can customize those cards to have any type of information in them that you need. Then you can keep them private, or you can share them with your co-parents. So those are great things for allergies for your kid, or medications and dosing instructions that they need to be on, or approved babysitters list, clothing sizes.I know around birthdays and holidays, it’s always, what size shoe is little Jackie wearing? Again, what size shirt do you know Cindy needs? And those types of things. So again, it’s a really great repository to just put any and all information that maybe is needed on a repetitive basis that you don’t want to have to always go in and say, okay, their social security number is x, y, z, or their insurance card is this or that. 

 

Krista Nash  41:07

That’s great. All right, that’s super helpful. Let’s talk about what the differences are between these programs. So we talked a little bit, but let’s just revisit it so that listeners are clear. So the free version is an app, and it has messaging. I don’t know where you repeated it, but because you’ll probably find it before I do in my notes, go ahead with what it has. 

 

Heather Ruiz  41:24

It has messaging, shared calendar, personal journal, and then the ability to receive shared info library cards. The free version is available on our web app, so you can log into it via your desktop, or you can log into it through a mobile browser, and that is, again, completely free. You don’t have to sign up for a fee waiver like some of the other apps do in order to get free access to the service and all of that. And then we have three different levels of paid subscription tiers. So the first one is our Essentials plan, and you get access to all of the features, and it’s $6 a month, and you get access to the mobile app. And what’s great about all of our subscription plans is that you have access to every single feature, all of the records, all of the transcripts, all the recordings, the difference between the different tiers. So we’ve got the $6 essential, we’ve got the $12 enhanced, and then we’ve got a $27 ultimate tier is how many calling minutes you get between the two, how much storage you get. And then the ultimate plan you get express pay, so your money transfers get sent quicker. So kind of like on a Venmo or a Zelle, you pay that extra amount to get faster money transfers over on the ultimate plan, that is just your standard. You get the faster money transfers there. You get unlimited calling minutes and things along those lines.

 

Krista Nash  42:47

Now we do have that three per parent per month, right? 

 

Heather Ruiz  42:53

Yes, that’s correct. And what is great about the monthly payment situation is that if I maybe I’m the primary custodial parent, and I have my child throughout the entire school year, and then they go to their co-parents over the summer for a month. So while I have the child, maybe I don’t need to worry about making or receiving video calls a lot, because they’re with me all the time, and  maybe the other parent is deployed military or something along those lines. And then when my child is going to be gone for a long period of time, and I know I’m going to be talking to them more over the phone, then I could move up to the other tier and get the increased minutes, and then when they come back to me, I can decrease. And so a lot of flexibility, so that at any given time, if the level that you’re on isn’t what you need anymore, you can upgrade or downgrade very easily, and you’re not locked into an annual contract like some of the other co-parenting services are. And then the other great thing is we do offer annual plans as well. And with that, you get, in essence, 16% discount, so two months free on that. So if you do say, I need to be at the enhanced tier every month, and that’s what I’m going to be on for this whole year, you can sign up for an annual plan, and you’ll get that two months 16% two months off discount for that as well.

 

Krista Nash  44:21

And both parents have to have the same tier, right? 

 

Heather Ruiz 44:22

No, they do not. 

 

Krista Nash 44:23

Oh, they don’t? So how would that work? If one has one and the other doesn’t , what would be the difference in their experience in terms of, one doesn’t have as many documents stored, but the other one has more storage, or how would you not have the same amount of minutes, or something like that? 

 

Heather Ruiz  44:40

Yeah, so if I know I don’t have to make a lot of outgoing calls to talk to my child because they’re with me, then maybe I don’t need that big bank of minutes. But because the other co-parent isn’t the custodial parent, they’re going to be calling that child a lot more and so minutes are only spent by the co-parent that makes the call. 

 

Krista Nash  45:02

Yeah, that makes sense.

 

Heather Ruiz  45:06

Yeah. So that’s an example of how that works. But again, both parents have access to the records, to the transcripts, to the recordings. None of that costs extra. It just comes with the fact that some of the other services do only provide transcripts and recordings on their highest tier for calls, or you’ve got to pay  extra for those types.

 

Krista Nash  45:27

What do you call your people? Clients, users? What users?

 

Heather Ruiz  45:36

Co-parents. 

 

Krista Nash  45:37

Co-parents. So the co-parents, using it would contact TalkingParents, or go on and download this or something like that, right? To order the transcripts, or whatever they need.

 

Heather Ruiz  45:47

You can do it from within the app and get the transcripts, recordings.

 

Krista Nash  45:52

And does that just happen pretty much immediately? And you could do it as many times as you want, correct? That’s a big benefit because some of these other apps will say, okay, it’s 50 bucks every single time you want something, or there’s sort of pricing for that. So how do you guys keep this so affordable? Do you have ads on it or something like that?

 

Heather Ruiz  46:12

So the free tier does have ads on it, but again, we’re very cognizant about where we’re placing on those. We don’t ever want ads popping up when you’re trying to accept a phone call. We don’t want them messing up message threads and different things like that. So there are advertisements in there, but they’re strategically placed to not get in the way of the user. But any of the paid subscription tiers do not have ads accompanied with them.

 

Krista Nash  46:38

Okay, I was in court and had this fight with the parents. They were exchanging, I was a child’s best interests attorney, and they were literally spending all this money on their attorneys, and it’s just the dumbest fights, honestly and literally, we’re fighting because dad will only do your free app. So my understanding is the free app doesn’t alert you either. It’s not an app, it’s a web based browser, so you have  to open it up either on your phone or computer, on the browser, right? Or do you get email notifications?  But he’s running around the airport with his kids, and he’s supposed to be connecting with the stepdad or mom. They’re trying to message him, and I think she actually had the higher version. He’s like, I only check my email so much. And we’re all like, can you just get the $6 version please? You just spent $4,000 in court. Like, can we just agree that trying to make the argument it’s just too expensive, the judge is like I’m not hearing it.That’s absolutely ridiculous. You guys are two state parents, and you’re exchanging at airports, and this isn’t working. So I’ve seen some problems.

 

Heather Ruiz  47:41

We do have the ability for co-parents that are on the free version to pay, and it’s a very, very small amount to have text message alerts come through instead of receiving the emails. So if that is easier for them to do, they can buy a bank of those text message alerts and then utilize those when they feel the need, like oh, I can’t just keep going into my email to look for notifications or whatever it is. So that’s also an option for that as well.

 

Krista Nash  48:08

What does that cost? 

 

Heather Ruiz  48:11

I don’t know off the top of my head.

 

Krista Nash  48:12

I mean, is it? It’s got to be pennies to get it and not have it be the six bucks.

 

Heather Ruiz  48:19

Yes, exactly, a percentage of pennies is what it really comes down to. 

 

Krista Nash  48:26

I mean a Starbucks or something costs $6.

 

Heather Ruiz  48:31

And if you do an annual plan, it’s $60 for the entire year. So for 12 months, every subscription plan that you sign up for, everyone also gets a 30 day free trial. And so the great thing about that is that you can go in and you can subscribe to, say, our ultimate tier, our top tier, and try all of the features and everything in there for 30 days. And if you decide, wow, I totally see a use for all of these things, you can stay on and  enjoy it. And if you’re like, nah, this is a little overkill for my circumstances right now, I want to drop down to another tier, you can try them out.

 

Krista Nash  49:10

You can see what works. Annual Plan is $60 for which part?

 

Heather Ruiz  49:14

So the essentials plan is either $6 a month, or if you buy it as an annual plan, you pay $60 for distributors, so we get that discount.

 

Krista Nash  49:24

Okay, I love all this. It’s super helpful to get a refresher, because a lot of us are, we’re not selling it, but we’re insisting people use it, and we don’t, actually, we actually haven’t used it ourselves. Do you do trials for attorneys? 

 

Heather Ruiz  49:36

We offer any kind of demos that attorneys would. So if anybody would like to contact us or reach out and do a demo for their firm, or as an individual, or whatever it may be, you can go on to our resources for legal professionals, site, www.legal.talkingparents.com and you can request a demo there. We do them all the time, and they can last 30 minutes if you need a quick crash course, or we’ve sat for two hours and walked through with an entire firm of 45 plus lawyers and really gotten into the nitty gritty of everything so they know exactly what they’re looking at. We’ve taught them how to read through the records and different things along those lines, too. So we really look at this as a partnership. Once a co-parent subscribes, we’re not , like, okay, our job’s done. They’re utilizing the app. We are making sure that we are educating family court services, whether it’s lawyers, mediators, judges, and we’re always looking for ways to make the app better from a legal standpoint, but we are also always looking for feedback from our users, because they are the ones that have to use it day in and day out. We’re also providing at no charge, educational resources.

 

Krista Nash  50:48

Yeah, I just need to know, I’ve asked about the educational resources. Are there different classes or tips and tricks on co-parenting?

 

Heather Ruiz  50:56

Yeah. So every quarter, we do a webinar. It’s called Co-parenting and Coffee and we bring in an expert in a variety of different fields. We’ve had financial experts, mental health experts, legal experts, you name it, we’ve brought them in, and it’s typically on topics that we get questions about, or see people talking about in the co-parenting forums on Reddit, or different things along those lines. We’re always looking for that information that co-parents are looking for. So we bring in these professionals, and they’ll do a presentation, and then have a live Q and A at the end of it, so you can ask your questions and get questions answered, and we record them. We post them all on our website, so they’re under our parenting resources tab, so you can go back and watch them as well. We also host high conflict workshops. These are smaller and more intimate workshops that we do with a certified divorce coach. She specializes in high conflict co-parenting, and she goes through and helps co-parents learn how to better communicate, how to utilize the features in different ways to help combat certain situations or de-escalate certain situations. Those are typically done in groups of 20, and so it’s very one on one. She contacts each of the attendees individually. They find out a little bit more about their situations and all of that. And again, we provide that for free, at no charge either. And then on our website, under our parenting resources, we have guest blogs from professionals across the country and across the various different fields, as well as just probably an article for about every situation that you could think of and how to handle those things. And so again, for us, the co-parenting app and being part of that community is so much more than just signing up for a service, as we talked about at the beginning of this. We’re really here to help parents be better parents and co-parents for their children, and so all of those resources and just this big support network that we’ve started is really kind of all encompassing of what TalkingParents is. We want to be there, we want to be helpful and we want to be supportive, no matter what somebody’s journey looks like, and no matter where they’re at as part of it, at that point in time.

 

Krista Nash  53:08

I love that. I can’t believe you guys are offering all of those things for free, too. That is just wonderful. Because, I am constantly sending people to co-parent classes, and we have a real resource problem for people. They just cannot, there is a big section of people that cannot afford this stuff, and it’s great to know and for people to understand that for a $6 subscription a month, or $60 a year, you could actually have access to all of that. Because if you go off and take a co-parenting class or get  these certified divorce coaches input into it, you are talking about just continuing to add to the money issue. I mean, I support all those people. I think they’re doing great work, but a lot of people  just don’t have the money to do it. So, to have that within that service, I mean, I think it speaks to the company’s motivation and heart for what you all are trying to do. And no, TalkingParents is paying me nothing to be all, “Yay, TalkingParents!” Genuinely, it’s giving me ideas of ways to just help, and that’s what a lot of us in this industry are just trying to do. It  doesn’t have to be so terrible. People make it terrible, and that’s why I really think these tools are just really important. And I’m glad you’ll let people come on and just try them for free because if people are struggling with their co-parent, or they’re just thinking about this and they want more, people have clients that are thinking, you know, struggling, it’s like,  if I could share this with all my customers or families that are struggling on the cases I touch. It really might provide this whole, it opens, this trunk that’s filled with all these different benefits. I want to give you just one opportunity and then  I know we need to wrap up, but are there any other key differentiators you think people need to know? I mean, I’m not asking you to slam your competition, but we talked about how you, I think one of the key differentiators is that you have this stuff for free on top of it, and you can download this stuff all the time. Would you say that your system is more robust than most, that it has more to offer than most, or if somebody is actually shopping for it, and they’re going to have the opportunity to hear from these other companies here in the coming weeks, what would you say are the key reasons you think they should pick TalkingParents as their platform?

 

Heather Ruiz  55:18

Sure, yeah. I think one of the major differences is the access to parenting resources. And again, these are resources that we work with professionals across the country with, and so they’re not Chat GPT blogs or anything that we’re just kind of throwing up there. We put a lot of time and effort into developing the partnerships and the people that we vet to come on and be partners with us to facilitate this information, because we want to make sure that they’re very much solutions focused as well as supportive and not trying to incite, like you said that that litigative and coming after you type of effort, because at the end of the day, that mindset doesn’t help anybody, and doesn’t help that relationship get any better, or at least progress to some kind of neutral standpoint. So that’s one thing that we do is put a lot of time and effort in, and do not charge our users for it. And everything that’s on the website is available to people that aren’t TalkingParents users either, so if they need assistance and are trying to convince their co-parent that this would be good for their child, there’s a host of information there that can help them, make that case or share with them to hopefully change that mindset. The other is the flexibility of our plans. We have a completely free plan, and then the fact that we offer monthly and annual subscriptions, and then we have them at every price point. So free, $6, $12, $27, and so we’re not eliminating the opportunity for people due to socio-economic statuses to not be able to have access to these resources and the app and everything along those lines, because, again, we’re here to help parents be better co-parents, and therefore take care of the children who did nothing wrong in these situations, but a lot of times have to deal with a lot of hardship behind it. So resources, plan, flexibility, and variety of pricing tiers, and then our our service started because other services that existed at the time did not have a full complete record as part of their services. So every single thing that we do, whether it’s a new feature, a feature enhancement or something along those lines, the first thing we do is ensure the utmost accountability, and we sit and we think through all of the loopholes that parents could potentially get into to try to either manipulate the system or whatever it is, and ensure that we’ve got that all locked down, and then our record and the security and how we produce those and the links that we go through to ensure their authenticity as well as their security. Every printed record is shipped in a sealed evidence bag, so that if you have to walk into court and open it up fresh to prove that it has not been tampered with, you have that opportunity to and then, as a lawyer, if you’ve got a printed record shipped in you don’t want to open it before you go to court, you have access to the PDF record to review before you go in, and can make your points there as well. So we’re always taking that extra step because unfortunately, people do try to manipulate and so that’s a huge thing for us, is that authenticity and security of that record and documentation so that lawyers, as well as co-parents, when they walk into court, they know in no way, shape or form is someone going to be able to tamper with it or cause problems with it without getting caught.

 

Krista Nash  58:50

I think some people could listen to us and think, oh, wow, man, what is happening in the family law world? This is crazy. How do you know how careful and proactive they’re being to make sure that we’re catching everybody and keeping everybody straight, but I just want to share with people that I think that it’s almost like, if you knew that there was a police officer doing a DUI checkpoint always at the end of your street, you’re not going to drive drunk down the street, right? I mean, that’s maybe a bad analogy, but it’s like, if we know we have to follow the rules, and I’ll get an executive coach who says kindness is no but clarity is kind. Clarity is kind and this is how we’re going to do it, and if you step outside this, it’s going to be a problem. And so I think it actually really keeps litigation down, even though it might sound like it makes litigation like, oh my gosh, we’re going to this crazy courtroom with seal evidence bags, like in the movies, but knowing that you can’t get around that stuff actually, prevents litigation, which I just want to emphasize because people are listening might not understand that so well. I know we need to go, but I will just give a pitch for myself to you guys. I think about my podcast and sending these people to my podcast, because it’s filled with resources from psychologists and all those kinds of people. Or you might find good people there who could be people that would come talk at your things, because they’re leading researchers and people who are passionate about doing right by children. So I think there’s some real synergy between our sort of missions, even though we’re doing really completely different things. So thanks. I really appreciate it. 

 

Heather Ruiz  1:00:20

Of course, absolutely. I enjoyed speaking with you, and you came up with some really great ideas and things as well. And we are always open to hearing from co-parents and lawyers and people involved in family court about what we can do to help make this process easier, provide better support and things along those lines. So I’m happy to share my email with you: heather@talkingparents.com. Please reach out anytime. It doesn’t bother me at all. And the great thing is, everybody on our staff is here in house, so our customer service department are all TalkingParents, employees, they’re all located right here in our building. 

 

Krista Nash  1:00:57

Where are you physically located?

 

Heather Ruiz  1:01:01

We’re in the panhandle of Florida, so I don’t know if you’ve heard of Destin, Florida. So yep, but everyone is here in house, so it’s very easy for me to walk right down the hallway to our product department or customer experience or our software engineers, and say, hey, we got a bug, or, hey, we got a great idea, or you know those types of things, so I love it.

 

Krista Nash  1:01:24

Well, I have learned way more than I expected to learn today. I’m humbled, and I’m really excited to go really, truly , take this to some people, because it’s got way more than I realized. So I am grateful for all you all are doing, and thanks for taking the time to talk with me today. Stay in touch, as things change and morph and grow, and we can do an update. 

 

Heather Ruiz  1:01:44

Absolutely thanks for all the work you all are doing. All right, that sounds great. Thank you so much Krista. We really appreciate the opportunity,

 

Krista Nash  1:01:48

Of course. All right, take care. All right. Bye, bye.

 

Intro/Outro  1:01:53

Krista is licensed in Colorado and Wyoming. So if you are in those states and seek legal services, please feel free to reach out via ChildrenFirstFamilylaw.com  that is our website where everyone can find additional resources to help navigate family law as always, be sure to like, subscribe and share the podcast with others you think would benefit from this content.